Class of 2020
With the current state of the world, I along with many other seniors, finished my last semester of college online. It's a strange way to end my college experience but I know that it was necessary.
I'm not going to sugar coat it, college has been a long and treacherous experience for me. If you've by chance read any of my previous posts that I've written about my time in college, you might recall me mentioning that each year presented itself with many challenges. But I truly believe that I did what was best for me throughout all four years. First, with spending a semester at APU, then with the decision to transfer, followed by all the clubs, activities, and people that I got involved with at USD.
Looking back on when I started at APU almost four years ago, I had no idea what I'd go through up until this point. I would have never imagined all the memories and trials that would fill these four years. I have mixed feelings about it all. College was not the greatest time of my life but on the other hand, I did so many amazing things and made so many amazing memories. It's no secret that this period in my life has been incredibly difficult for me. But as I've always done, I'm reflecting on how all these times, good and bad, have helped me in one way or another.
To be 100% honest, I've been kind of down about myself recently. I guess with how long quarantine has been going on and having to adapt to life spent at home, I've been feeling like I haven't been growing enough to meet these standards for myself that I subconsciously set in my head. I've been feeling like I had taken one step forward then a few steps back. Recently, I was FaceTiming my freshman year roommate from Azusa who is still one of my closest friends, and she shocked me by telling me that she was so proud of me for how much I've grown since we've met. We were catching up, filling each other in on what's been going on in our lives, and reflecting on how we handled certain things compared to now. When she expressed this to me, it hit me that it was something that I really needed to hear. With how I've been feeling, I hadn't been able to see how much I've grown through college. My old roommate, Sarah, has seen me through it all. She was my main support system freshman year when I really began to struggle. She was there as I made the decision to leave and she stuck with me after that. So hearing from someone who has seen me go to hell and back multiple times, tell me how much I've changed and that it was in a positive direction, really helped me see things differently.
I started looking back on my previous struggles and I understood what she meant. The way I react and handle bumps in the road has changed. For the first time, I was able to see that I've grown so much more than I give myself credit for. I still have struggles and I know that's apart of life. But it makes me feel hopeful that I am able to handle hardships more maturely and effectively.
These are truly four of the most pivotal years. It's when you learn more about who you are and who you want to become than you ever have. It can be hard to look at yourself without an outside perspective. In your own head, it may not seem like you've changed all that much. But these could be the years when you change the most.
College wasn't what I thought it would be. Many things I had hoped for, didn't happen to meet my expectations and a lot didn't go as planned. But in turn, I gained so many things that I didn't expect at all. That's kind of the beauty of it. It's no question that senior year didn't end how I expected it to either. But I'm grateful that I am apart of the Class of 2020.
Congrats to my fellow grads, we've come a long way...
xx
- Jillian
instagram: @jkyinthesky / @jillianybarra
latest youtube video: Sundance Film Festival 2020 | JKYintheSKY VLOG https://youtu.be/nMyyT5DLC1Q
I'm not going to sugar coat it, college has been a long and treacherous experience for me. If you've by chance read any of my previous posts that I've written about my time in college, you might recall me mentioning that each year presented itself with many challenges. But I truly believe that I did what was best for me throughout all four years. First, with spending a semester at APU, then with the decision to transfer, followed by all the clubs, activities, and people that I got involved with at USD.
Looking back on when I started at APU almost four years ago, I had no idea what I'd go through up until this point. I would have never imagined all the memories and trials that would fill these four years. I have mixed feelings about it all. College was not the greatest time of my life but on the other hand, I did so many amazing things and made so many amazing memories. It's no secret that this period in my life has been incredibly difficult for me. But as I've always done, I'm reflecting on how all these times, good and bad, have helped me in one way or another.
To be 100% honest, I've been kind of down about myself recently. I guess with how long quarantine has been going on and having to adapt to life spent at home, I've been feeling like I haven't been growing enough to meet these standards for myself that I subconsciously set in my head. I've been feeling like I had taken one step forward then a few steps back. Recently, I was FaceTiming my freshman year roommate from Azusa who is still one of my closest friends, and she shocked me by telling me that she was so proud of me for how much I've grown since we've met. We were catching up, filling each other in on what's been going on in our lives, and reflecting on how we handled certain things compared to now. When she expressed this to me, it hit me that it was something that I really needed to hear. With how I've been feeling, I hadn't been able to see how much I've grown through college. My old roommate, Sarah, has seen me through it all. She was my main support system freshman year when I really began to struggle. She was there as I made the decision to leave and she stuck with me after that. So hearing from someone who has seen me go to hell and back multiple times, tell me how much I've changed and that it was in a positive direction, really helped me see things differently.
I started looking back on my previous struggles and I understood what she meant. The way I react and handle bumps in the road has changed. For the first time, I was able to see that I've grown so much more than I give myself credit for. I still have struggles and I know that's apart of life. But it makes me feel hopeful that I am able to handle hardships more maturely and effectively.
These are truly four of the most pivotal years. It's when you learn more about who you are and who you want to become than you ever have. It can be hard to look at yourself without an outside perspective. In your own head, it may not seem like you've changed all that much. But these could be the years when you change the most.
College wasn't what I thought it would be. Many things I had hoped for, didn't happen to meet my expectations and a lot didn't go as planned. But in turn, I gained so many things that I didn't expect at all. That's kind of the beauty of it. It's no question that senior year didn't end how I expected it to either. But I'm grateful that I am apart of the Class of 2020.
Congrats to my fellow grads, we've come a long way...
xx
- Jillian
instagram: @jkyinthesky / @jillianybarra
latest youtube video: Sundance Film Festival 2020 | JKYintheSKY VLOG https://youtu.be/nMyyT5DLC1Q
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